Sports is the toy department of human life.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their read more

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.

Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, read more

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's read more

I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

It's a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.
(after winning the Grand Slam Cup.)

It's a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.
(after winning the Grand Slam Cup.)

I succeed on my own personal motivation, dedication, and commitment…. My mindset is: If I'm not out there training, someone read more

I succeed on my own personal motivation, dedication, and commitment…. My mindset is: If I'm not out there training, someone else is.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.