Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.

Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.

I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am read more

With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

You get out in front -- you stay out in front.

You get out in front -- you stay out in front.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?
(spoken to announcer Steve Albert)