Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His read more

'Twas Game Six of the Series when out of the sky, Flew Sergio's parachute, a Met banner held high. His goal was to spur our home team to success, Burst Beantown's balloon claiming Sox were the best.

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me read more

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids read more

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
(on being a role model)

Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.

Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.

Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago...

Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago...

Becoming number one is easier than remaining number one.

Becoming number one is easier than remaining number one.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.

My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.