Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into thereoms.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into thereoms.

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make up

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make up

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

Before a cure is found we will all have been affected one way or another.

Before a cure is found we will all have been affected one way or another.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.