One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after read more

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

Statistics are people with the tears wiped from their eyes

Statistics are people with the tears wiped from their eyes

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

Round numbers are always false.

Round numbers are always false.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.