I wear my Pen as others do their Sword.
To each affronting sot I meet, the word
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I wear my Pen as others do their Sword.
To each affronting sot I meet, the word
Is Satisfaction: straight to thrusts I go,
And pointed satire runs him through and through.

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally
discover everybody's face but their own.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally
discover everybody's face but their own.

It is difficult not to write satire.
[Lat., Difficile est satiram non scribere.]

It is difficult not to write satire.
[Lat., Difficile est satiram non scribere.]

Why should we fear; and what? The laws?
They all are armed in virtue's cause;
And aiming read more

Why should we fear; and what? The laws?
They all are armed in virtue's cause;
And aiming at the self-same end,
Satire is always virtue's friend.

Satire should, like a polished razor keen,
Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.
Thine read more

Satire should, like a polished razor keen,
Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.
Thine is an oyster knife, that hacks and hews;
The rage but not the talent to abuse.

Satire or sense, alas! Can Sporus feel?
Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?

Satire or sense, alas! Can Sporus feel?
Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?

Unless a love of virtue light the flame,
Satire is, more than those he brands, to blame;
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Unless a love of virtue light the flame,
Satire is, more than those he brands, to blame;
He hides behind a magisterial air
He own offences, and strips others' bare.

And especially, especially, don't f*ck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument read more

And especially, especially, don't f*ck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument with a vegan, say "I'm wrong", and run away as fast as you can. Do not f*ck with vegans because they will f*ck you up... BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY.