Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure... they govern us in all we read more

Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure... they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it.

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to read more

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

Sometimes you see a person, and you wonder why you don't spend more time with that person, because they're like read more

Sometimes you see a person, and you wonder why you don't spend more time with that person, because they're like one of your favorite people. And then they say something and you remember why you don't.

Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.

Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.

The folks you help won't remember it and the folks you hurt won't ever forget it.

The folks you help won't remember it and the folks you hurt won't ever forget it.

The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don't talk much.

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don't talk much.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.