Maxioms Pet

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  •   8  /  29  

    News, news, news, my gossiping friends,
    I have wonderful news to tell,
    A lady by me her compliments sends;
    And this is the news from Hell!

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  11  /  25  

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We read more

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

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  7  /  17  

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

by Robert Mugabe Found in: News Quotes,
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  9  /  17  

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from read more

It’s hard to believe that in the greatest democracy in the world, we need legislation to prevent the government from writing and paying for the news.

by Senator John Kerry Found in: News Quotes,
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  24  /  29  

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever read more

Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Rememb'red tolling a departing friend.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  7  /  16  

Stay a little and news will find you.

Stay a little and news will find you.

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  14  /  30  

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
read more

What, what, what,
What's the news from Sway?
Sad news,
Bad news,
Comes by the cable; led
Through the Indian Ocean's bed,
Through the Persian Gulf, the Red
Sea, and the Med-

by George Thomas Lanigan Found in: News Quotes,
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  8  /  12  

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

If't be summer news,
Smile to't before; if winterly, thou need'st
But keep that count'nance still.

by William Shakespeare Found in: News Quotes,
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  11  /  12  

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

Ill news is wing'd with fate, and flies apace.

by John Dryden Found in: News Quotes,
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  26  /  28  

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed read more

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

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