Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.

To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

Let me go to hell, that's all I ask, and go on cursing them there, and them look down and read more

Let me go to hell, that's all I ask, and go on cursing them there, and them look down and hear me, that might take some of the shine off their bliss.

Children are poor men's riches.

Children are poor men's riches.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's read more

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.