Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
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Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

There's some are fou o' love divine,
There's some are fou' o' brandy.

There's some are fou o' love divine,
There's some are fou' o' brandy.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

When the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.