I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. read more

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. Like I'm at a carnival in a dream. Not sure that makes sense, but I do have pretty good pitch recognition. I see colors for different key signatures, notes, etc.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Hollywood is more forgiving than the church.

Hollywood is more forgiving than the church.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the read more

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.