Hollywood amuses me. Holier-than-thou for the public and unholier-than-the-devil in reality

Hollywood amuses me. Holier-than-thou for the public and unholier-than-the-devil in reality

I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the read more

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. read more

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. Like I'm at a carnival in a dream. Not sure that makes sense, but I do have pretty good pitch recognition. I see colors for different key signatures, notes, etc.