I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

Agents are like tires on a car; in order to get anywhere at all, youneed at least four of them, read more

Agents are like tires on a car; in order to get anywhere at all, youneed at least four of them, and they need to be rotated every 5,000 miles.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. read more

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. Like I'm at a carnival in a dream. Not sure that makes sense, but I do have pretty good pitch recognition. I see colors for different key signatures, notes, etc.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

I don't get anything for free. I pay for all my beauty treatments."

Is Hollywood the cruelest city in the world? Well, it can be. New York can be that, too. You can read more

Is Hollywood the cruelest city in the world? Well, it can be. New York can be that, too. You can be a Broadway star here one night, and something happens, and out--nobody knows you on the street. They forget you ever lived. It happens in Hollywood, too.