Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

Stop worrying. Hollywood won’t turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on drugs... I will.

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. read more

I kind of like things slightly out of tune. It makes me feel... intoxicated almost... but in a good way. Like I'm at a carnival in a dream. Not sure that makes sense, but I do have pretty good pitch recognition. I see colors for different key signatures, notes, etc.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the read more

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

I'm a Hollywood Trainwreck.

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the read more

For an actress to be a success, she must have the face of Venus, the brains of a Minerva, the grace of Terpsichore, the memory of a Macaulay, the figure of Juno, and the hide of a rhinoceros.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

It's somehow symbolic of Hollywood that Tara was just a facade, with no rooms inside.

It's somehow symbolic of Hollywood that Tara was just a facade, with no rooms inside.