There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

Must a government of necessity be too strong for the liberties of its people or too weak to maintain its read more

Must a government of necessity be too strong for the liberties of its people or too weak to maintain its own existence?

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.

A government is not an old pair of socks that you throw away.

A government is not an old pair of socks that you throw away.

A wise government knows how to enforce with temper, or to conciliate with dignity, but a weak one is odious read more

A wise government knows how to enforce with temper, or to conciliate with dignity, but a weak one is odious in the former, and contemptible in the latter.

A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.

A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have.

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule to never criticize or attack the government of my own read more

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule to never criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.

Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were read more

Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were hypocritical, Gore is shallow and weak, Bradley is an idealist, Bush Jr. a fool, and all of the independent candidates act like they're on drugs.

Yet if thou didst but know how little wit governs this mighty
universe.

Yet if thou didst but know how little wit governs this mighty
universe.