Yesterday the greatest question was decided which was ever
debated in America; and a greater perhaps never was, nor read more

Yesterday the greatest question was decided which was ever
debated in America; and a greater perhaps never was, nor will be,
decided among men. A resolution was passed without one
dissenting colony, that those United Colonies are, and of right
ought to be, free and independent States.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to read more

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."

Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were read more

Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were hypocritical, Gore is shallow and weak, Bradley is an idealist, Bush Jr. a fool, and all of the independent candidates act like they're on drugs.

Public confidence in the integrity of the Government is indispensable to faith in democracy; and when we lose faith in read more

Public confidence in the integrity of the Government is indispensable to faith in democracy; and when we lose faith in the system, we have lost faith in everything we fight and spend for.

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.

Good government is no substitute for self-government.

Good government is no substitute for self-government.

Here is my first principle of foreign policy: good government at home.

Here is my first principle of foreign policy: good government at home.

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults read more

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.