Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom s. Never sleep with a read more

Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual read more

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.

Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.

The best prophet is common sense, our native wit.

The best prophet is common sense, our native wit.

When it is a question of God's almighty Spirit, never say, "I can't.".

When it is a question of God's almighty Spirit, never say, "I can't.".

Bad experience is a school that only fools keep going to.

Bad experience is a school that only fools keep going to.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.

The curiosity to know things has been given to man as a scourge.

The curiosity to know things has been given to man as a scourge.