The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.
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When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or read more
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into read more
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home read more
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out read more
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a read more
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on read more
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
