Phyllis Diller

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have read more

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies.".

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.