Phyllis Diller

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor