Phyllis Diller

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and read more

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor