Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to read more

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.