Erma Bombeck

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their read more

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two read more

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.