Ambrose Bierce

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food read more

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.

DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) read more

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.

Age--that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we read more

Age--that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.