Ambrose Bierce

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is read more

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.

Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.

Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) read more

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.