Ambrose Bierce

A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) read more

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied read more

A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them." "The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something - the mortality of the optimist.