Ambrose Bierce

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is read more

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat arsenic? Yes, all read more

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get," Consenting, he did speak up;"'Tis better you should eat it, pet, Than put it in my teacup." --Joel Huck

PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A read more

PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God.

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers read more

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.