Mark Twain ( 10 of 310 )
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you read more
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and read more
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
I deal with temptation by yielding to it
I deal with temptation by yielding to it
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never read more
As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people read more
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old read more
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
