Fred Allen ( 10 of 21 )
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition read more
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look read more
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
