Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was read more
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat read more
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that read more
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own read more
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom
