Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

Don't try to go too fast. Learn your job. Don't ever talk until you know what you're talking about.... If read more

Don't try to go too fast. Learn your job. Don't ever talk until you know what you're talking about.... If you want to get along, go along.

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most read more

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most un-American thing in America!

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after read more

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with read more

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with them, then it's a pretty good detour.

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him read more

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to read more

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to decision.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session read more

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.