A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after read more

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom read more

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session read more

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most read more

I've said many a time that I think the Un-American Activities Committee in the House of Representatives was the most un-American thing in America!

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens--and then everybody disagrees.

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to read more

I don't think it's the function of Congress to function well. It should drag its heels on the way to decision.

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with read more

The Senate is a place filled with goodwill and good intentions, and if the road to hell is paved with them, then it's a pretty good detour.

"Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale?" someone asked the chaplain. "No, I look at the Senators and pray read more

"Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale?" someone asked the chaplain. "No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country.".

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him read more

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!