Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.

Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.