The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Guido the plumber and Michelangelo obtained their marble from the same quarry, but what each saw in the marble made read more

Guido the plumber and Michelangelo obtained their marble from the same quarry, but what each saw in the marble made the difference between a nobleman's sink and a brilliant sculpture.

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.

Yes, there are two paths you can go byBut in the long runThere's still time to change the road you're read more

Yes, there are two paths you can go byBut in the long runThere's still time to change the road you're on.

You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they read more

You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are read more

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.

It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice.

Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice.

Every person, all the events of your life are drawn there because you have them there. What you choose to read more

Every person, all the events of your life are drawn there because you have them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.