Why is the hearse with scutcheons blazon'd round,
And with the nodding plume of ostrich crown'd?
No; read more

Why is the hearse with scutcheons blazon'd round,
And with the nodding plume of ostrich crown'd?
No; the dead know it not, nor profit gain;
It only serves to prove the living vain.

Diaulus, lately a doctor, is now an undertaker' what he does as
an undertaker, he used to do also read more

Diaulus, lately a doctor, is now an undertaker' what he does as
an undertaker, he used to do also as a doctor.

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying read more

Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.

The houses he makes last till doomsday.

The houses he makes last till doomsday.

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief read more

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

There was a man bespake a think,
Which when the owner home did bring,
He that made read more

There was a man bespake a think,
Which when the owner home did bring,
He that made it did refuse it:
And he that brought it would not use it,
And he that hath it doth now know
Whether he hath it yea or no.

There's a grim one-horse hearse in a jolly round trot;
To the churchyear a pauper is going I wot;
read more

There's a grim one-horse hearse in a jolly round trot;
To the churchyear a pauper is going I wot;
The road it is rough, and the hearse has no springs,
And hark to the dirge that the sad driver sings--
Rattle his bones over the stones,
He's only a pauper whom nobody owns.