The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

When Tiger was 6 months old, he would sit in our garage, watching me hit balls into a net. He read more

When Tiger was 6 months old, he would sit in our garage, watching me hit balls into a net. He had been assimilating his golf swing. When he got out of the high chair, he had a golf swing.

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be read more

We train by a parkway, which runs beside a river. If we had a lonely end, he either would be hit by a car or drown.
(on why he doesn't use a lonely end)

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Bulls do not win bull fights. People do.

Bulls do not win bull fights. People do.

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same read more

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.