Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
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Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
Of Wener or of Wetter.
Dip a spoonful out
And mind you don't get groggy,
Pour it in the lake
Of Winnipissiogie.
Stir the mixture well
Lest it prove inferior,
Then put half a drop
Into Lake Superior.
Every other day
Take a drop in water,
You'll be better soon
Or at least you oughter.

Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
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Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
With powerful objectives,
Watch your play.

The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

So liv'd our sires, ere doctors learn'd to kill,
And multiplied with theirs the weekly bill.

So liv'd our sires, ere doctors learn'd to kill,
And multiplied with theirs the weekly bill.

There is at bottom only one genuinely scientific treatment for
all diseases, and that is to stimulate the phagocytes.

There is at bottom only one genuinely scientific treatment for
all diseases, and that is to stimulate the phagocytes.

Trust not the physician;
His antidotes are poison, and he slays
More than you rob.

Trust not the physician;
His antidotes are poison, and he slays
More than you rob.

Though bitter, good medicine cures illness. Though it may hurt,
loyal criticism will have beneficial effects.

Though bitter, good medicine cures illness. Though it may hurt,
loyal criticism will have beneficial effects.

By medicine life may be prolonged, yet death will seize the doctor too.

By medicine life may be prolonged, yet death will seize the doctor too.

You rub the sore
When you should bring the plaster!

You rub the sore
When you should bring the plaster!