Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad, and theology makes them sinful

Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad, and theology makes them sinful

If we practiced medicine like we practice education, we'd look for the liver on the right side and left side read more

If we practiced medicine like we practice education, we'd look for the liver on the right side and left side in alternate years.

One doctor, singly like the sculler plies,
The patient struggles, and by inches dies;
But two physicians, read more

One doctor, singly like the sculler plies,
The patient struggles, and by inches dies;
But two physicians, like a pair of oars,
Waft him right swiftly to the Stygian shores.

And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb,
Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have read more

And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb,
Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in
Capernaum, do also here in thy country.

Desperate maladies require desperate remedies.

Desperate maladies require desperate remedies.

It requires a great deal of faith for a man to be cured by his own placebos.

It requires a great deal of faith for a man to be cured by his own placebos.

Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
read more

Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
Of Wener or of Wetter.
Dip a spoonful out
And mind you don't get groggy,
Pour it in the lake
Of Winnipissiogie.
Stir the mixture well
Lest it prove inferior,
Then put half a drop
Into Lake Superior.
Every other day
Take a drop in water,
You'll be better soon
Or at least you oughter.

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines.

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines.

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in read more

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing