Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
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Take a little rum
The less you take the better
Pour it in the lakes
Of Wener or of Wetter.
Dip a spoonful out
And mind you don't get groggy,
Pour it in the lake
Of Winnipissiogie.
Stir the mixture well
Lest it prove inferior,
Then put half a drop
Into Lake Superior.
Every other day
Take a drop in water,
You'll be better soon
Or at least you oughter.

God who sends the wound sends the medicine.
[Sp., Dios que da la llaga, da la medicina.]

God who sends the wound sends the medicine.
[Sp., Dios que da la llaga, da la medicina.]

Who shall decide when doctors disagree,
And soundest casuists doubt, like you and me?

Who shall decide when doctors disagree,
And soundest casuists doubt, like you and me?

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals.

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals.

When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,
And I must minister the like to you.

When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,
And I must minister the like to you.

The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

The only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
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Oh, powerful bacillus,
With wonder how you fill us,
Every day!
While medical detectives,
With powerful objectives,
Watch your play.

Use three Physicians,
Still-first Dr. Quiet,
Next Dr. Merry-man
And Dr. Dyet.

Use three Physicians,
Still-first Dr. Quiet,
Next Dr. Merry-man
And Dr. Dyet.

You tell your doctor, that y' are ill
And what does he, but write a bill,
Of read more

You tell your doctor, that y' are ill
And what does he, but write a bill,
Of which you need not read one letter,
The worse the scrawl, the dose the better.
For if you knew but what you take,
Though you recover, he must break.