I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

The homegrown tomato is best
(in reference to choosing a marriage partner).

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make it a failure.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses read more

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.