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What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the read more
What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.
Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive
Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive
This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more
This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"
I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.
I may not lead the most dramatic life, but in my brain it's War and Peace everyday.
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished read more
It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.
The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.
The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.
A sneer is the weapon of the weak.
A sneer is the weapon of the weak.
Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't.
Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't.
