What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic read more

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the read more

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.

Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous read more

Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine God. Or else, hatred against the bogged-down vileness of average man as against the possible heights that humanity might attain.

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"

Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.