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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I read more

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, we're only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"

by Bill Hicks Found in: Humour Quotes,
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The musician who always plays on the same string is laughed at

The musician who always plays on the same string is laughed at

by Horace Found in: Musicians Quotes,
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Feed the musician, and he's out of tune

Feed the musician, and he's out of tune

by George Crabbe Found in: Musicians Quotes,
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Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used read more

Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought I’d share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went ‘ah was that you?’ And I didn’t have the heart to tell her. Oh!Will: She woke herself up?Sean: Ah...! But Will, she’s been dead for 2 years, and that's the shit I remember: wonderful stuff you know? Little things like that. Those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but there not. Ah, that's the good stuff.~ Robin Williams as Sean Maguire, Matt Damon as Will Hunting.

by Good Will Hunting Found in: Humour Quotes,
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The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

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The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.

The poor girl does not know how to have a conversation. Unfortunately, she does know how to speak.

by Winston Churchill Found in: Humour Quotes,
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I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear.

I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear.

by Freddie Mercury Found in: Musicians Quotes,
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Musicians duet better

Musicians duet better

by Britney Spears Found in: Musicians Quotes,
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The wise musicians are those who play what they can master

The wise musicians are those who play what they can master

by Duke Ellington Found in: Musicians Quotes,
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