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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out read more
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for read more
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But read more
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press read more
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long read more
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, read more
I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.