Steven Wright

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you read more

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.