Steven Wright

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you read more

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.