Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but
I couldn't give it up read more

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but
I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an read more

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting. - Benchley -- or Else!

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that read more

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, read more

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.