Lily Tomlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.