Lily Tomlin

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent read more

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, read more

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.