Lily Tomlin

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.