Gracie Allen

Gracie comes home from the hospital after visiting a sick friend. (George) 'Where did you get the flowers?' (Gracie) 'I read more

Gracie comes home from the hospital after visiting a sick friend. (George) 'Where did you get the flowers?' (Gracie) 'I went to visit Mable.' (George) 'Yeah, so?' (Gracie) 'WELL, you told me to take her flowers!'

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a
half.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a
half.

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only read more

My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old. [said when George Burns was only 64. He lived to be 100]

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.