Ambrose Bierce

A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied read more

A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them." "The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something - the mortality of the optimist.

OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.

OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.

Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deitits and so forth, as distinguished read more

Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deitits and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.