George Carlin ( 10 of 38 )
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this read more
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt read more
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what read more
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think
