George Carlin ( 10 of 38 )
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set read more
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us read more
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to read more
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.
