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    In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.

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  7  /  13  

For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants, like most Lutheran boys. I read more

For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants, like most Lutheran boys. I got a telescope. My mother thought it would make the best gift.

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  9  /  24  

The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and read more

The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it.

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  14  /  19  

Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster?

Why shouldn't a PC work like a refrigerator or a toaster?

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  14  /  15  

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.

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  8  /  15  

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no read more

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

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As the births of living creatures, at first, are ill-shapen: so are all Innovations, which are the births of time.

As the births of living creatures, at first, are ill-shapen: so are all Innovations, which are the births of time.

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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

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We like to test things... no matter how good an idea sounds, test it first.

We like to test things... no matter how good an idea sounds, test it first.

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Ideas are fatal to caste.

Ideas are fatal to caste.

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