One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop read more

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news, with sad read more

Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news, with sad tales to tell everyday, some are like that one station with the foreign language; you don't understand a word of it but you listen and watch.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve read more

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas